You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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