dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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