I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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