If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
