If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
