Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
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