I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Randomize
