thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
