She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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