Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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