Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
