just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
