I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
