just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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