I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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