his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
We are all done wearing pants today
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
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