I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
