GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
