so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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