This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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