Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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