Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
do herpes really smell.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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