I didn't shave. On purpose
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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