Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
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