I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
