my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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