I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
there was a trapeze. enough said
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
