Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
pray to the hookup gods
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
