I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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