you turned your livingroom into a bong?
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
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