I'll bet she douches with gravy.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
