just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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