Is it because I queefed?
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
