This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
