dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
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