are you still at the devil's house?
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
