ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
