No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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