69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
