They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
