I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
