How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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