singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I could make wine with my vomit
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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