Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
