She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Randomize
