FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
