You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
