I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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