this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I touched a dick in church today
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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