I got chris browned last night
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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