My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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