I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Randomize
