My boss' voice literally gives me gas
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
