Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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