I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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