vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
